I always hated those stupid cigarettes. As a kid I use to steel them from my parents and hide them to encourage them to stop smoking. Of course, that never worked. They would eventually notice and make me return them. I felt too guilty to throw them away. One day we got a forecast of 30 inches of snow. Considering that in 1995 the weatherman was wrong in predicting the 3 foot snow storm I had my doubts. Granted, this time it was a different meteorologist. My dad was so excited about it. Of course he was. He wasn't the one who had to clear the driveway. Something about the snow inspired him to go outside and light one up. He grabbed his hat and gloves, a pack of cigarettes, and a lighter. Out he went. As he stood there lighting his drug he didn't notice all the snow that piled up on the roof right above his head.

Instead, his mind was elsewhere, thinking of the sweltering summer heat back home when he was truly happy. He had had his family and friends close and only now did he realize what a mistake he had made. Why had he moved so far away? Did he really think he could just run away from it all? With each deep drag from his cigarette, coupled with the below-zero temperature embracing him, his pain began to dissipate. He felt numb to it all. Each snowflake falling represented a tear he had shed in the past ten months of living apart from them all. He was tired of feeling like this! He decided this was it... and it was then and there, standing in the deep snow that he decided it was time to make things better and mend his past.

The old man struggles with his past and the tainted memories contained there. Wading through old memories of mistakes, victories, defeats, and conquests of life's many experiences. As the man stands there in the snow, cigarette dimly glowing against the frigid blanket of snow surrounding them, he thinks back to how life used to be as a young man. The times when all that mattered was his next date, next paycheck, next pretty girl who would smile at his quips for attention. Now where is he? Now where are those pretty girls, adventure seeking commrades, the warm days of irresponsibility? How had he landed here? His family waited inside, those pretty girls no longer caring about his neatly cropped hair or shined shoes. Now those pretty girls looked for someone to provide comfort and care whilst looking for someone to replace him. It was time to finish that cancer stick, trundle back into the house, be greeted by ambivalence and get on with what life has brought through the years. He contemplated that it might actually be time to quit that filthy smoking habit, after all, his own girls had been after him for years over it... maybe this way he'd get to see the return to when they cared about what he said and wanted to spend time with him again. Maybe even grandkids if he was lucky! Indeed, not everything is bleak and life has not passed him by. As he extinguished the mostly burned cigarette and brushed himself off, it was time to go visit with his family and enjoy the rest of what life has for him.